the road taken, and the one that wasnt

kadang2 rasa takut
rasa insecure
for what future holds

kadang2 rasa hopelessly helpless
kadang2 rasa I took the road that wasnt meant to be taken

betul, kalau kite xcube, kite takkan tau
tapi mcm mane kalau kite cube, and we found ourselves in the middle
we went too far already to go back, but yet the road is still long ahead in front of us
what are we gonna do then?

what future has in store for me, for everyone
how, where I will be..we will be in the next 5 years..10, 20 years?
sometimes that idea intrigued me, but most of the time I find it more intimidating than exciting

I hate changes, I hate insecurities
I need someone to be here with me.
Here, really here, right beside me.
and tell me to never lose faith
to keep pushing, and keep holding on
and to never let go
no matter how bad it looks like
how bad it's gonna be
to tell me
to always keep the faith.

dolphinnie

I GOT ME A DOLPHIN PLUSHIE!! <33

yes people, it is that big of an issue that deserves a post in my long-forgotten blog.

.me loves dolphinnie.

buh-bye.

just because :D

1. im so happy today

2. thanks babe :D

3. it's 3:14am and im still up figuring this little shiny green friend of mine! (am thinking of giving him a name..how about Micky? LOL)

4. I love Tea for Two..(Ku, I looooooooooove my story tuh..setiap malam pn bce lantas senyum sorg2 ok..so fluffy..matila puji diri sndri :P)

5. im a hopeless romantic. fin. XD *sile rujuk #4*

6. i need sleep

7. brb when im more coherent

8. i loooooooooooooooove tea for two. have I mention dat already? ^___^

p.s: Tablo said "nothing in the universe can change that. you're like a song on a constant playback"
p.s.s: I'm random, I know that. :D

janji

Haritu, saya ada janji dengan Dia.

Sekarang Dia dah tolong saya.

Saya kena pegang janji tu, smpai bila-bila.

Jaga elok-elok.

Itu janji saya dengan Dia.

Semoga saya dapat pegang janji ni.

Dapat jaga elok-elok.

Sampai bila-bila.

never the last cry

As expected, once school started I'm gonna be all mixed up again. Well I expect myself to get emotionally disturb for no obvious reason. I just read many many articles about the Dome stage success, and I'm so proud, got some goosebumps and definitely got teary-eyed.

I listen to sad love songs and got tears in my heart again despite not understanding the lyrics sometimes.

I watch doramas and got teary-eyed again.

I read good stories and I cry.

I look at old photos of me and them (whoever them might be- families, friends, those who crosses their lives with mine) and I got teary-eyed.

I just lay down there and think and sometimes I cry too.

I go by day by day and expect myself to randomly break down every once in a while.

Oh yes that's me. I tend to cry quite frequent, but I dont like crying in front of people. Hence why did I write it here?
And well I cry for various reasons too. So spare me the advice.

Hey it wasnt my fault I have delicate feeling. But dont worry I wont broke the water pipe in front of other people, it's quite uncomfortable for both parties I know.

Just so you know, not everything shown is just it is. There are a lot more to understand of the hidden things. But that doesnt mean the shown ones are fakes, only just it doesnt represent the whole picture.

Does this entry make sense? Perhaps not. But it's for me to understand it and to remember.

And you can see it's rather different than my entries during the hols. Both are me and I remain true to myself.

**
EDIT: I'm feeling better now. Just a few happy songs will do for me. A friend once told me that I'm a person that's easy to get happy (ie. by seeing beautiful things like a field on sunflower, or by listening to happy songs like You are My Sunshine.) Haha yes IAWTC. But I easily gets sad too. Oh well. It's what we call balance equilibrium. LOL :P

going broke

Well yeah. Urm nothing much to write, but just announcing the fact that I spent around JD*** (3-digits, you go figure the amount OK!) when I went to Amman with cik tembikai on Sunday, and I dont even buy that much! but I was tempted by the varieties of beautiful cards. See my book-crazed friend? The amount is huuuuuge which is why I dont wanna count it in the first place, and I dont wanna check my balance either..Imagination is good you know..LOL xDD

School will be opened on July 5th..ugh I'm lazy already. And the Dome concert will be on 4th and 5th. Stand by U will be released on 1st, AADBSK3 somewhere in the mid of July, and I'm expected to be utterly and completely broke by the end of July (ps. tembikai, I aint buying that towel, despite it's pink! sedehnye!!) *praying hard that PSD's clerk will work extra efficient for August allowance*

To my bestie, I know I seem to be unavailable lately. For no definite reason on top of that. Ughh. Sowieeee! >__<

Another random note, today me and Nisa finished three movies. Spiderman 3, Sweet Home Alabama & Legally Blonde. Yesterday it was Confession of Shopaholic. Tomorrow Da Vinci's Code maybe? Thank you for the supplier :P Am waiting for 1st July for my connection utk laju balek so that bleh mendownload dgn riang gumbire! Sykin, you're gonna get a bulky dose of the boys when you got here with my red i-Pod!

walk me out of here

Alhamdulillah. The exams are over. The results are out. FULL STOP.

**
This song always have special meaning to me, especially when I feel really down. Well it's not a song that will lift up the spirit, it's more like a tear-inducing song I guess. Every line and every part carries meanings for me. And yes although I've been bitching whining lately about needing a BF or whatever you call it, it's only part of it. This song carries more than that for me. Just saying so in case anyone might misinterpret this as pathetically pathetic of me. :/

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame

Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Once you've found that lover
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around

I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But Love is all around

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doin' all I can
To be a better man

Walk me out of here~

great faith

She has Oral Pathology II Final Exams tomorrow. Too much stuffs to read, blame her for procrastinating. But really it's too much. When she was seating for her UPSR, her mom pasted this motivational poster in her room that reads: "To succeed I must force, not pamper myself." Pardon the weird English coz she translated it from BM.

What she needs now is GREAT FAITH.

GREAT FAITH

GREAT FAITH

GREAT FAITH

GREAT FAITH

GREAT FAITH